Fiebre traductora

Hoy al volver a casa iba pensando en el vídeo del videojuego de Vicentín, y el vídeo del rap del payaso, pero como aún me dura el chip de pensar en inglés, lo iba traduciendo. Y al llegar a casa me he dicho: "...a que no hay cojones!". Siempre funciona. He tenido que ayudarme de la muy útil wordreference, aunque hay cosas traducidas literalmente, por aquello de las risas.

Clown's rap: I live with your mother

I live with your mother, in a castle,
sometimes I bring it fat, sometimes I bring it thin.
I live with your mother, in a castle,
milk's tetrabrik, linen pyjama.
I live with your mother, in a castle,
hello mr. moose, hello mr. penguin.
I live with your mother, in a castle,
I live with your mother in Cucumber Street.
I live with your mother, in a castle,
well is a duplex but is our nest.
-Don't judge us, boy, you don't have the right,
we are adults, we have talked about it-
Your mother is the most important for me,
you need to accept it, now I'm your father,
and look to my eyes, think I want to deceive you?
that I do it for money?, that I am a starving?
that's not true love I'm feeling for your mother?
that you have seen another fools like me?
that you can see from afar what talkative clowns are up to do?
do you think you can insult me only for being her son?
-Shut up, boy, don't talk to the clown this way,
he is a good man, he is a honest man.-
Yes, bollocks, I'm a honest clown,
I had my problems but I overcomed it!
Problems with drinking, problems with playing,
problems with drugs and with fire arms!
Thanks to God it's part of the past
thanks to your mother I'm a renewed clown.
I live with your mother, in a castle,
etc, etc...
I live with your mother, in a castle,
and what I know if I don't know neither I say.

Vicentín's videogame

Hello, harefeets! What's up? How do you have your machinery? Good? I'm Vicentín. Vicentín, the more partygoer guy in the spanish middle east! I don't say you anything! Do you want me to tell something? Do I tell you? Right now. It happens, I have brought out a videogame, you know? so lovely, and it's made for gambiters as you and me, you know, people that never stay at home, for those wich always go to the full, You know what's it name? you know how I named it? ALWAYS TO THE FULL 5.0! First screen: the first. You are in your room, restless, sure you want to go to have a good time at the Puzzle, because you noticed that there is a big party, fucking really good, you are sure El Rulas is over there, knowing him it's sure El Rulas is over there, the first. But your mother, here she is, your mother, don't let you go, but this is worth shit to you, you know what I mean? you don't mind. You have to go out the room avoiding your mother, avoiding her, avoiding her, that she will chase you along all the house, it's just behind you, and if she takes you she will hit you, good heavens! to to the chifonier, take all the money, then ho the the other table, take the cigarettes, then go to the hiding place, taking your father's car keys, and once you have all: the cigarettes, the money, the keys and all this, you get in the car and go to the next round! Gambiters!
Second screen: the second. Before going to the puzzle, you have to tuning your car, that's quite sure. Because like this you can't go nowhere, you are less cool than a shit. So you come into the Crazy Mechanic's repair shop, you have to put new tyres in the car, a wing, and a coat of paint, how do you see it? Well, and be careful with the crazy mechanics, because they don't want you to take the things, you know, the pussies, so you have to attack them with the flying kick, this way, c'mon, one, another, treacherously, c'mon, my God, you will thump them. C'mon, now go for the tyres and all that shit. Dont' you see, pay attention, don't you see, that special car, now you can go to the Puzzle, now you can. C'mon, let's go! Oh my god, what graphics!
Third screen: the third. Here you have to drive overspeed to the Puzzle, you know, like the arrows, dodging the other cars you know, look, one, another, dodging them, my God. Look, a seat panda, don't tell you anything. Well and be careful with the holes, the road surface is awful, goodbye, goodbye... A breath test. Well, will stop your fucking mother, well, if the policemen become irritating, you can drop off oil, and they will skid. Remain here, in the verge, goodbyeeeeeee. Look, the way to the Puzzle is very good indicated, my God, is a very fucking good disco, isn't? What graphics... well, we are in. Really is near here, you know, you can't miss it. Welcome to the Puzzle! OK, so we have came to the last screen, isn't it gambiters? The fourth screen: The fourth!!! You leave the car in the parking and we are ready to go inside, but look who is in over there, my God, is the motherfucking doorman, this awful beardman, it's sure he will try to stop you. Now you have to eat all the smileys you can take, c'mon, all the smileys, I'll go for one, two are coming, if you three are coming don't fall, and all this why? for having the machinery to the full. Once you are to the full, the superfight is starting, be careful with the doorman, he is throwing you flyers, one, another, my God, now you have to use the flying kick, the regular punches that scores too, and all, c'mon, punch, punch... ups, goodbye, don't think, is hard, the beardman is hard, is hard to beat. If you advice that you can't beat him, I'll teach you a trick, look, is very lovely, if you jump five times just over there, a chloroform spray appears, and if you throw it against his nose, in all the snout, you'll beat him. Here it is! It's done! And now let's enjoy! Have you liked the game, haven't you? My God, sure you like it! It have cost a lot, I put a lot of money. But the price is a regular price, eighteen euros, and don't think in buy it in the top blanket, in the good shops, the goods, original, eighteen euros. And if you buy it until New Year's Eve, I'll give you a present, for each of you I'll send a vending machine of Fish Candies, you know which, but it aren't Fish Candies, you know, are another thing. I don't say you anything and I tell you everything! Another thing. Another thing.
- Vicentín! You will become sick!
- I don't mind!